He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
