It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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