We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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