dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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