I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
