Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
