I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
