Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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