No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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