one word: firstdatebathroomanal
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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