if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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