After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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