ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
