I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
