We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
