i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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