he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
it glows. i had to have it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
