I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
