Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
