ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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