I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
