playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize