mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
