I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
