so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
