She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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