I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize