you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize