ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
