Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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