Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
