this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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