Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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