He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Say something about gay babies.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
