I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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