I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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