Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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