they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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