I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
