This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
