We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
