I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize