is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
