i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
