ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize