I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize