Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
