Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
