I puked a lego.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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