Screwed.edu
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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