A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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