I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
