In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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