Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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