He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My bed smells like the plague
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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