just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
